So… uh… What’s the plan?

Since I started this blog I’ve been prompted to think daily about the choices I am making, why I am making them, and why my journey to a healthy lifestyle has been such an exhausting round of yo-yo. It seems as though I am finally beginning to understand and really grasp the core of my issues, my forks in the road, when it comes to getting organized, getting “on-track,” and getting healthy:

  1. Boredom: I am used to being a busy person, overly busy, always on the go. During the summer, when I have any kind of downtime or when I’m not stressing over the next thing that needs to get done, I get bored. When I’m bored I eat. It seems as though I thrive on the stresses of a busy “on-the-go” kind of lifestyle;
  2. My ongoing love affair with food: It honestly feels impossible to end my ongoing love affair with food. I just can’t seem to kick the junk. Like I’ve mentioned in previous posts, it’s an abusive relationship that I have with food. It stalks me, haunts me, doesn’t let me hang out with the good/popular kinds of food… it’s everywhere! Always trying to corrupt me! Even when I try to prepare a healthy meal, I black out and when I come to I am grating cheese over my healthy plate of food!
  3. Queen of Excuses: I am probably the Queen of Excuses as I can usually convince myself out of things quite easily: but I worked hard yesterday; I have a sore _____________; I didn’t overeat today so I don’t need to workout; I deserve a day off; I deserve a few days off; I’m on vacation; I’ll start on Sunday; It’s the holidays, though…
  4. Risking Failure: This one was kind of hard to admit. I don’t like to disappoint. My worst critic is most definitely myself; but, I can’t stomach the idea of failing in front of someone else and therefore failing myself. Why try if I won’t succeed. What a horrible inner dialogue to have. I feel sorry for myself right now…

Okay… I’m done… Pity party is over.

The recognition of these roadblocks is a crucial step towards making positive changes; however, there is one very important factor missing thus far in my journey towards living a healthier lifestyle- a plan of action.

It’s one thing to recognize and complain about all of the flaws in my journey towards achieving a healthier lifestyle, but I haven’t really considered, yet, conjuring up any kind of plan of action for myself. I come across so much literature, both online and in my daily life, about getting fit. There are always different workouts being suggested, different meal plans or foods to implement. I brush them all off. I guess I can add a 5th point to my list of road blocks:

I always want to do it my way, figure it out on my own. I hate it when perfect-bodied people are telling me how to get there. Sounds like a completely backwards way of thinking, doesn’t it!? I should listen, as they’re clearly doing something right, but I begrudgingly let it all fall upon a deaf ear.

“Leeeettttt meeeee doooooooooo it”- I have a lot of Stuart moments from MadTV:

I read a well-written blog post by Rachel today, who wrote about BER [Binge Eating Recovery]. Her post had a clear message, with a great picture (just in case I didn’t fully grasp the message the first time). This is exactly what I have been doing: trying to “out-exercise” my “bad diet.” This is also a primary contributor as to why I have been yo-yo’ing with my weight so excessively throughout my life. I don’t have a plan of action, yet, but it’s time to develop one. I assume that would also mean that it’s time to hear what others are saying about this healthy lifestyle thing… and really listen.

Where do I go from here? What’s my first step? Any starting points or suggestions would be great… and they won’t fall upon a deaf ear.


1 Comment (+add yours?)

  1. Elane Arden
    Aug 14, 2012 @ 01:43:41

    Binge eater myself! Its the bad boyfriend you always go back to!


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